


Mahō ni Naru Hōhō o Oshiete (Teach Me How To Be Magic Like You)

by aegicheezu



Category: Jrock, X JAPAN
Genre: Age Difference, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Height Differences, Love Confessions, M/M, Musicians, RPF, Real Life, References to Depression, Sharing a Bed, Very affectionate, Yoshiki and Hide are very touchy, physical affection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 12:58:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17386886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aegicheezu/pseuds/aegicheezu
Summary: Yoshiki is no stranger to having to help his beloved guitarist through rough patches when it comes to his low moods; all he wants for Hide is to make him smile. And this time, he succeeds beyond his wildest dreams.





	Mahō ni Naru Hōhō o Oshiete (Teach Me How To Be Magic Like You)

**Author's Note:**

> (1) hide is capitalized as Hide for ease of reading 
> 
> (2) there is no untimely accidental death in this fic, it has a happy ending, so please don't be sad!
> 
> (3) thank you for reading!

**_Tokyo, 1993_ **

 

Warm, midday sun woke the heavily-sleeping Hide, and he scrunched his face in annoyance at having forgotten to shut his curtains again. _What time is it?_ He blinked himself awake and struggled to read the numbers on the digital clock at his bedside. Concentrating, he finally registered the time: 4:48pm. _Shit, I’ve slept through rehearsal again_ , he realized. _Yo-chan is going to be so upset with me_ … he rolled around in his sheets for a moment, wondering whether he should get up. His stomach made the decision for him; a low growling in his belly made him smirk. _Alright, fine_ , he conceded. At last, he rolled out of bed and glanced at himself in the mirror quickly – long red hair in a messy ponytail, made loose and frizzy with sleep, eye makeup smudged. He shrugged.

Walking past the living room and into the kitchen, Hide noticed his answering machine’s light blinking, and wondered how many of those messages were from his band members. Suddenly feeling a hollowness in his chest, overcome with guilt, he reached for the phone and dialed a familiar number, curling the cord in his fingers as he waited for Yoshiki to pick up the phone.

“Hello?” the voice on the other end was soft and gentle, and it instantly brought a smile to Hide’s tired face.

“Yo-chan, it’s me,” Hide replied, contrite. “I’m sorry I missed rehearsal today.”

“Oh, it’s you, Hide. Thank goodness,” Yoshiki sighed, relieved. “I left you three messages, didn’t you hear the phone ringing?” Yoshiki’s voice was not angry; it was concerned.

Hide pinched the bridge of his nose and bent his head, sorry he’d made the other man worry. “I’m sorry, Yo-chan,” he repeated. “I only just woke up.”

Yoshiki could tell something was amiss; he pressed on, voice kind. “Hide, are you having trouble sleeping again?” A pause. “The dreams aren’t back, are they?”

Hide felt his cheeks grow hot. “Yeah,” he admitted. “The dreams are back. I can’t sleep at night these days… I’m sorry, Yo-chan. I’m useless to the band like this,” he suddenly felt like crying. “You should just find another guitarist, I’ll only keep letting you down…” Hide balled his fist, angry with himself.

“Stop it,” Yoshiki interrupted him softly. “Hide, you just missed one rehearsal. It happens,” he tried to soothe the other man. “X is nothing without you, don’t think you’re holding us back.”

“It’s not just the one rehearsal though, is it?” Hide corrected him. “I can’t keep skipping rehearsals every time I feel like giving up, disappearing---” he put a hand to his mouth; the corners of his eyes burned, tears threatening to fall.

“Hide…” Yoshiki’s heart dropped. “You’re falling again, aren’t you,” his tone cautious, he continued, “I told you to reach out to me when you felt like that again.” Hide could hear the other man’s soft smile across the line. “Didn’t I tell you that you could rely on me?”

Hide suddenly felt guilty, and blinked so that his tears could fall. “I’m sorry, Yo-chan,” he replied at last, voice small. “I’m sorry you have to worry about me so much.”

“Hide, I’m coming over right now,” Yoshiki said. “I’ll be right with you, okay? Stay home.” Hide could hear the rustling of dishes against a kitchen counter – _I must have disturbed him in the middle of a snack_ , Hide realised guiltily.

“Okay, Yo-chan.” Hide bent his head. “I’ll stay right here.”

 

*

 

Yoshiki gently replaced the receiver and sighed. He had grown accustomed to Hide’s bad habit of missing rehearsals when his sleep was disturbed. He knew that Hide had been having these troubles for a long time, since they were kids together. He was there for him then; and he was there for him now. He called a cab and waited patiently for its arrival outside in front of his apartment complex, feeling the warm sun on his face. _I’ll be right there_ , he repeated in his heart. _I’ll be with you soon_.

The ride to Hide’s apartment always felt longer than it was when Yoshiki was in a rush to see him; he bounced his leg and asked the driver to go as fast as he could, and the driver laughed softly, stepping on the gas. “A matter of love, is it?” he joked.

“Yeah,” Yoshiki replied. “It is, actually.”

 

*

 

“Hide, I’m here,” Yoshiki called softly from the other side of his front door. “I got here as fast as I could, but I’ve forgotten my key. Will you let me in?” he knocked rhythmically and patiently waited for the other man to let him in. He smiled when he heard Hide’s familiar footsteps approach the door and let him in.

Upon seeing the red-haired man, Yoshiki’s eyes widened in concern and he instinctively reached out to him, pulling him close. “Hide,” he cooed into the other man’s neck. “Are you alright?”

Hide sighed, sinking into Yoshiki’s safe embrace. “I am now,” he replied, and he meant it. “Yo-chan, I’m sorry…” he looked up into the other man’s soft eyes.

Yoshiki cradled Hide’s cheek in his hand and noted the smudged eye makeup staining his pretty skin; he pinched Hide’s cheek. “Come on,” he smiled warmly. “Let’s clean you up,” he took Hide’s hand and led him to his bathroom, and leaned him against the counter. As Yoshiki busied himself finding the makeup remover and wetting a facecloth, Hide couldn’t help but smile a little. _You always take care of me, don’t you_? He twirled a piece of Yoshiki’s wavy blond hair in his fingers as the other man carefully wiped his face with a cotton pad.

“Hide, you shouldn’t sleep with your makeup still on,” Yoshiki smiled. “It will give you early wrinkles,” he made a face and cocked his head cutely. “And that would be such a shame, on your pretty face.”

“You think I’m pretty, Yo-chan?” Hide teased back. “Even with eyeshadow staining my cheeks?" 

“The prettiest,” Yoshiki replied, not missing a beat. “But I think I prefer you wearing nothing at all,” he grinned. 

“Not wearing makeup, you mean,” Hide caught Yoshiki’s little mistake, eliciting a soft blush from the blond. 

“That too,” Yoshiki corrected himself, winking; he was glad he could make the other man smile.

“Naughty Yo-chan,” Hide stuck his tongue out, closing his eyes so that Yoshiki could better clean the smoky makeup. “Thank you for coming over,” he said after a moment, voice soft, thankful. “Are the others mad at me for missing rehearsals?”

Yoshiki shook his head. “No,” he replied. “And if any of them tell you differently, then I’ll handle it,” he threw the blackened cotton pads into the trash and took the warm, wet cloth in hand, gently pressing it to Hide’s face. “Taiji made a little fuss today, but Toshi shut him up quick.”

“He has a temper,” Hide nodded. “I’m sorry I upset him.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Yoshiki waved it away. He continued to gently pat the other man’s face until he was satisfied that the last of the makeup had been wiped away. “There,” he said at last, “all fresh now.” He smiled at Hide and moved to carefully undo his hair. “Now,” he turned the older man around so they both faced the mirror, “let’s deal with your hair.”

Despite the intimacy of it, Hide laughed softly. “Thanks,” he looked at Yoshiki through the mirror. “Will you let me make you dinner as a proper thank-you?”

Yoshiki smiled. “Sure,” he glided his fingers through the older man’s hair. “It’s so long now,” he mused. “Do you think you’ll ever cut it?”

Hide thought for a moment. “Who knows?” he teased. “Maybe I’ll grow it longer and longer, like the ancient Emperor’s court women, dragging on the floor as they walked.”

“Hide, that’s too long!” Yoshiki laughed. “I’ll make a deal with you,” he said after a moment. “If you cut your hair, I’ll cut mine short too,” he looked into the other man’s large brown eyes and winked.

“That would be a tragedy!” Hide cooed, “look how long yours has gotten, Yo-chan,” he pointed with his chin. “It’s so pretty.”

“You think so?” Yoshiki wondered aloud.

“The prettiest,” Hide grinned cheesily, repeating the words that Yoshiki had spoken earlier.

 

*

 

The kitchen was filled with laughter as Yoshiki and Hide sang and danced around each other playfully, cooking dinner together. Suddenly, Hide stopped and cried out, dropping his knife to the floor. 

“Ah, shit!” he cursed, looking helplessly to Yoshiki, who immediately took action and ran his hand under cold water. “Sorry, Yo-chan…” his eyes filled with tears, and he winced at the pain.

“Don’t be sorry, accidents happen,” Yoshiki comforted him, putting pressure on the cut and keeping it under the tap. “It’s deep,” he noticed, worried. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m… I’m fine,” he shook his head. “I’m such a clumsy moron…” his eyes filled with tears. “You always have to drop everything to take care of me…” he looked into Yoshiki’s eyes. “I’m always going to hold you back… I’m just in the way.”

Yoshiki pulled Hide in close. “Don’t, Hide,” he cooed softly, heartbroken. “Don’t say things like that,” he curled his hands in the other man’s hair. “Hide,” he kissed the top of his head, the sweet scent of white flowers making him smile a little despite the scene. “Hide, I’m always going to stay by your side.”

“Yo-chan…?”

“I’m always going to be with you,” he continued, taking Hide’s face in his hands. “So don’t you dare ever think of leaving my side.” He kissed Hide’s forehead and held him close. “Promise me, Hide,” he looked at him seriously. “Promise me.”

Hide’s heart felt like it would leap from his mouth; he sunk into the safety and warmth of Yoshiki’s hands holding his face, and closed his eyes. “I promise,” he replied. He opened his eyes, wide and full of love for the other man. “I promise,” he said again, as if sealing their agreement like a spell.

“Good,” Yoshiki smiled, kissing the top of Hide’s head again. “Let’s finish making dinner, and then we can rest.” He gingerly spun the other man around so that he could wrap his arms around him from behind. Hide moved about the kitchen continuing to prepare ingredients; Yoshiki rested his chin on his shoulder, arms around the other man’s waist, and wondered what to do about his beloved guitarist.

 

*

 

Yoshiki turned off the television; he had only been half-watching, anyway. He was much more interested in Hide, who had fallen asleep and had been gently snoring in his lap for the better part of an hour. Yoshiki’s fingers laced through Hide’s hair, noting that he would soon have to help him re-dye his roots; his black hair was beginning to show through the bright red. Seeing the black made Yoshiki smile, remembering. _I haven’t seen your natural hair since we were just kids together, before all of this…_

 

_“Yo-chan! Yo-chan!” Hide’s excited voice called out to him from across the room, and he was nearly knocked over by the shorter man. “You’ll never believe it! I have such good news!” Hide hugged Yoshiki tight and bounced up and down on the spot like the excited teenager he was. The scene was strange enough to make other schoolboys stop and watch, intrigued._

_“What is it?” Yoshiki smiled, allowing himself to be pulled in close and spun around. “What’s got you so excited?”_

_“I was able to make a deal with the owner of that live-house, we’ve got a gig!” Hide’s smile was so wide, it threatened to crack his cheeks in two._

_“How did you do that?” Yoshiki blinked, eyes wide. “That’s huge news!” He grasped Hide’s hands excitedly, and they spun around together. “When?”_

_“This Friday!” Hide replied, stars in his eyes. “It’s finally happening, Yo-chan! We’re gonna be real musicians!”_

 

Yoshiki’s eyes filled with happy tears. _That’s right, Hide_ , he looked down at the sleeping guitarist in his lap. _We’re real musicians, now. Just like we always wanted._

Yoshiki didn’t particularly want to leave Hide; going home now and leaving Hide alone on the sofa, only to wake to an empty apartment… the idea made his heart hurt. _I’ll stay here with you tonight_ , he thought, looking down at the sleeping figure beneath him. _And every night that you need me._

He decided it would be better for Hide if he slept in his bed rather than on the couch; so, carefully, he slid out from underneath his heavy head and gently wrapped his arms around the other man, lifting him off the couch. Hide stirred a little, eyes squinting, making a cute face. “It’s time for bed, Hide,” Yoshiki cooed softly. Hide nodded, sleepy. Yoshiki carried him to the bedroom, and felt his heart flutter when Hide tightened his grip on him as they approached the bedroom. “I’ve got to undress you,” Yoshiki explained softy.

“Don’t get any ideas,” Hide muttered sleepily, not bothering to open his eyes.

“Don’t worry, your chastity is safe,” Yoshiki joked back. He carefully slipped Hide’s t-shirt up and pulled it from his arms and head, careful not to pull at his nose or eyes. Hide lay as still as a statue as Yoshiki moved lower, unbuttoning the sleepy man’s jeans and slipping them from one leg at a time.

Feeling the cool air on his naked legs, Hide shivered a little and moaned softly. “Yo-chan, it’s cold…” he pouted, and stretched his hands out, opening and closing his fists like a needy child. “Come here and keep me warm,” he demanded in a soft, whiny voice.

Yoshiki smiled and shook his head. “Hey, give me a second,” he chastised sweetly, “let me take all this off first,” he unbuttoned his shirt and slipped out of his jeans, kicking them off and into a corner. He pulled the duvet over himself and Hide, relaxing into the mattress. _The bed smells like you_ , he noted happily. It didn’t take long for Hide to resume his soft snoring; Yoshiki, still mostly awake, turned onto his side and looked out the window, the moon peeking out from a gap in the curtains. After a while, he closed his eyes, content he’d made the right choice.

 

*

 

Yoshiki awoke from his light sleep when the older man shifted a little in bed; he felt Hide snake his arms around his chest and squeeze, pulling him closer. Yoshiki sighed happily, entwining their fingers together against bare chest. He was about to drift off to sleep once more when he felt Hide’s lips in his hair, softly kissing the back of his head. Yoshiki stayed awake just long enough to hear Hide mumble, “love you…” before he started snoring again.

Yoshiki smiled, and closed his eyes.

 

*

 

The morning sun through the curtains woke Hide first; he blinked himself awake and gazed at the still-sleeping Yoshiki, face turned away from him and buried under his mass of long blond hair. “You stayed…” he grinned. Hide turned onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow, the other indulging in the intimate pleasure of tracing gentle lines along Yoshiki’s bare back as he continued to sleep.

The other man’s pale skin felt soft under his fingers, and he curled pieces of his long blond hair, careful not to wake him. “Thank you,” he said softly, voice barely above a whisper. “Thank you for always staying by my side… since we were young.” He smiled down at the still-sleeping drummer, eyes full of love. “You have always accepted me, my crazy dreams, my outbursts, my…” he paused. “My sadness,” he stroked the other man’s hair softly, leaning in a little closer as if preparing to tell a secret. He whispered, “I love you more than you’ll ever know, Yo-chan,” he confessed. “I have loved you since the first day we met, stupid teenagers with a crazy dream.” He gently, gently, pressed a kiss to the back of Yoshiki’s head. “I’ll never love anyone else but you, as long as I live.” He breathed in the scent of the other man’s floral shampoo, and smiled. “Maybe one day, I’ll tell you that when you’re awake,” he said. He sighed happily, and rolled off the bed to make breakfast for them both. 

Hidden from Hide’s view, Yoshiki’s eyes half-open at the touch of the other man filled with happy tears.

 

*

 

At the smell of coffee brewing, Yoshiki decided it was time to “wake up,” and join Hide in the kitchen. Unbeknownst to the guitarist, Yoshiki had heard the entirety of his whispered confession; and it had made him indescribably happy. If he were honest, he too had been nursing feelings for the pretty red-haired man, features sharp and soft all at once. Hearing the older man confess his heart so lovingly, softly in the morning light had made Yoshiki realize just how much he really did love him; his heart might burst from joy. He stood wordlessly in the doorway and watched Hide flit about the kitchen, singing one of their songs. The morning light glinted off Hide’s shirtless form, making him seem like a youthful sun god; Yoshiki smiled and slid up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist.

“Morning,” Yoshiki’s smooth voice reverberated in Hide’s ear, making him shiver. “How are you today, Hide? Feeling better?” He could not hide the note of concern in his voice.

Hide leaned back into Yoshiki’s body wrapped around him, relaxing. “I feel much better today,” he replied, easing the other man’s worry. “Thank you for staying over,” he tilted his head back to look at Yoshiki. “You didn’t have to, but I’m glad you did.”

“Me too,” Yoshiki smiled back and kissed Hide’s forehead. “It’s been a little while since I stayed over,” he remembered. “When was the last time?”

Hide thought a moment. “It can’t have been that long ago,” he tried to recall. “Remember? We stayed up all night writing songs… maybe a month?” He smiled.

“A month…?” Yoshiki parroted. “It seems like it’s been longer,” he mused. “Maybe because when I’m not with you, time goes by slower,” he grinned cheesily, and Hide playfully elbowed him.

“You charmer,” he shot back. “Here, I made you some coffee,” Hide slipped from Yoshiki’s arms just long enough to pour a mug of coffee for the drummer, and passed it to him. The men sat next to each other on the living room sofa, and drank their coffee in comfortable silence. After a little while, Yoshiki remembered something.

“Ah, Hide, I forgot. We have another rehearsal later in the afternoon, to make up for the one you missed…” Yoshiki was almost apologetic, as if reminding him of that fact would break their quiet little spell. “Are you up for it, today?” He looked over at the other man, who seemed to be considering his answer.

“Actually, Yo-chan…” Hide looked into his mug, now half-empty. “Would it be alright if we just… stayed home today?” He looked up at Yoshiki through long lashes.

Yoshiki’s heart leapt at Hide’s expression, and he heard himself reply, “of course we can,” before he even thought of the answer. He took another sip of his coffee. “I’ll call Toshi in a little while and tell him to cancel.”

“Are you sure it’s alright?” Hide asked. But Yoshiki waved the question away with a gentle hand.

“We don’t have another show for a while yet, it’s alright. It’s not like we’ll wake up tomorrow having forgotten how to be musicians,” he smiled. “Don’t worry about it.”

Hide’s face changed; like a child with a delicious scheme, he grinned and set down his mug, got up from the sofa and skipped to the bedroom without a word.

“Hide?” Yoshiki called after him, laughing. “Where did you go?” He sat back on the sofa, lolling his head against the cushion. _How like an impulsive teenager he can be, even now…_

“I’ll be right there!” Hide called back from his bedroom. A moment later, he re-emerged, dressed head-to-toe in pink flannel pajamas, arms full with a second pair of matching pink ones for Yoshiki. “Let’s have a daytime slumber party, Yo-chan,” Hide beamed, grinning his pretty, crooked grin.

“It’s a date,” Yoshiki agreed, taking the pajamas from the older man with a smile.

 

*

 

By the time the sun had begun to dip in the sky once again, the pyjama-clad men where delightfully tipsy, indulging in a favourite junk-food; convenience store sushi. As they jokingly fed each other, the duo was also hard at work; the floor was littered with song lyrics.

Hide sighed theatrically and lolled his head onto the other man’s shoulder. “Yo-chan,” he sing-songed, “would you braid my hair?”

“Hmm?” Yoshiki’s mouth still half-full, he looked down at Hide and smiled. “Sure,” he began to shift where he sat to better reach Hide’s hair, but Hide held his arm and instead, climbed into Yoshiki’s lap, the blond’s legs encircling him. Yoshiki laughed. _You’re such a baby_ , he mused. _Even though you’re older than I am._

“Don’t laugh,” Hide pouted cutely. “It relaxes me.” He took Yoshiki’s hands and put them on his head. “I like it.”

“I know,” Yoshiki replied kindly. “I know.” He kissed the top of Hide’s head and wrapped his arms around the other man’s shoulders. He felt his heartbeat begin to quicken and tried to calm himself by smelling the sweetness of Hide’s perfume, still lingering on his skin from the day before. _I want to stay like this forever_ , he realized. _Just like this_.

As if he read his mind, Hide asked, “Yo-chan, if… even if X were to disband one day,” his voice soft, searching, “even if we didn’t have the band to tie us to each other, would you still be by my side?”

“Of course I would,” Yoshiki replied, without hesitation. His heartbeat began to quicken again at the thought of ever being apart from the pretty drummer. Before he could stop himself, he continued, “I’d go anywhere with you, Hide. I love you too.” _Shit_ , he cursed himself. _I didn’t mean to say that out loud_.

Hide’s eyes grew wide and he turned around in Yoshiki’s lap. Without saying anything, he threw his arms around him, and curled his legs up around his waist, pressing their bodies close in a wanting embrace. “How did you… Yo-chan, did you already know?” Hide spoke into the other man’s shoulder.

“I confess, I heard your whispers to me this morning,” Yoshiki replied, arms tight around Hide’s body, fingers tracing gentle circles. “You’ll never feel alone again, Hide,” he pressed their foreheads together. “I will always stay by your side.” He gently kissed the guitarist’s soft lips, a final promise.

 

*

 

**_Tokyo, 2019_ **

 

The moon peeked through half-closed curtains, bathing the living room in a soft silver light. Hide sat with his legs encircling Yoshiki’s slim body, hands deftly plating small braids into his soft blond hair.

“Do you remember, years and years ago when you would do this for me, Yo-chan?” Hide grinned his crooked grin and rested his chin against Yoshiki’s shoulder.

“It made my arms so tired,” Yoshiki teased. “Your hair was so thick and long back then, I had to bargain with you to cut it.”

“If you cut your hair, I’ll cut mine short too,” Hide remembered his bandmate’s words. “I never thought you’d actually cut your pretty curls off, but you did.”

“I don’t miss them,” Yoshiki smiled, “I like how your hands feel in my hair the way it is now,” he pouted his lips cutely for a kiss, Hide obeyed. “I remember a night like this, when I finally told you how I really felt about you,” he recalled. “Except then, it was me who was braiding your hair.”

“I remember,” Hide closed his eyes, smiling at the memory of what came after that confession. “Do you still feel the same way about me, after all these years? Wrinkles and all?”

Yoshiki turned in Hide’s lap and kissed him. He looked into the older man’s eyes and for a moment, saw the face of the young man he’d fallen in love with so many years before. It was true; time had passed, but his eyes remained the same. Though now, there were a few crow’s feet and laugh lines around the black-smudged eyes – Hide still loved smoky makeup, even when they were at home. Yoshiki twirled a piece of Hide’s bright pink hair in his fingers, and kissed him softly once again. “I feel more love for you today than I did then,” he smiled. “And you, do you still love me, after more than thirty years by my side?”

Hide took Yoshiki’s chin in his hand. “I love you more than anything in this world. I always will,” he looked into Yoshiki’s eyes. “Until the day we both go to heaven.”

“Hey, we’re still young,” Yoshiki teased, “we won’t take that trip together for many, many more years.” 

Hide grinned his pretty, crooked grin and kissed Yoshiki softly. “That’s true, isn’t it?” He wrapped a gentle arm around the other man and sighed happily.


End file.
